Exploring the Representation of Saul Indian Horse's Experiences

How are the Experiences of Saul Indian Horse Represented? Consider the Methods used by Richard Wagamese.

One can go on and on about abuse. Abuse is a topic that has no end to it. Hundred if not thousands of individuals experience abuse in their life. Whether that may be emotional, verbal, physical, or even sexual. It's all abuse. If a victim has grown up in such an environment, then being aware of the fact that they are a victim can be rare. Victims of abuse will often try their best to justify the abusers actions and either forgive or just purely block out the abuse without another thought and go on about their life as normal as it can be. However, even if it is blocked out, victims will often be left with trying to find different ways to cope with it. A great example of this is Richard Wagamese and his life. From struggling with abuse, to substance abuse, and losing his identity, Richard Wagamese is seen reflecting his life through his character Saul in Indian Horse. Saul is seen as struggling with racism, abuse, alcoholism, and finding his identity after being taken away from his parents and taken to a residential school called St. Jerome’s residential school. In Indian Horse, Saul’s experiences are represented through suppressed trauma, emotional blocking, and silence. Richard Wagamese uses Saul’s suppressed memories and his tendency to avoid pain to show how deep one's trauma can get and how it can disconnect a person from their identity. 

In the beginning of the book, Saul is taken to a residential school where he immediately shuts down emotionally and describes the school as everything but joyful and safe. After being there for a bit, Saul even goes to say that “St. Jerome’s took all the light from my world” (43). After arriving at the St. Jerome’s Residential School, Saul is seen to very quickly- if not immediately- shut down emotionally. In the quotation, Saul St. Jerome was taking ‘all the light’ from his world. This happening early on in the novel shows the start of the traumatic impact that St. Jerome is going to have on Saul. Being taken away from his family and placed in an environment where Saul experiences racism leaves him feeling powerless throughout the novel. Wagamese uses the metaphor “light” to describe how the safety, joy, and freedom that Saul once had was lost and taken away from him. The “light” represents everything positive that Saul had in his life. By saying it was removed, it helps Wagamese emphasize how dark the school really is. By using this as a metaphor, it helps touch on the idea of how St. Jerome has started to have a major impact on Saul’s identity and his sense of belonging. Within the novel, Wagamese is seen using a first-person narration style to help truly describe the cruelty of St. Jerome through Saul’s eyes. This helps in allowing the reader to feel the raw emotions Saul is going through in the moment and how the environment he is in is shaping his mind over time. A study done by Claudia Gualtieri, who is an Associate Professor of Anglophone Literatures and Cultures, Culture studies and Postcolonial Studies at the University of Milan. She is also a PHD and MA from the University of Leeds in Biological Sciences, called The Release of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission Findings on Indian Residential School in Canada, 2 June 2015 speaks about how the abuse of residential schools have impacted many children by separating them from their families with her specifically stating: “This separation from their family and original community and culture was coupled with instances of cruel punishment, despicable violence, and physical and psychological abuse” (194). This study helps put in perspective on how true Saul’s thoughts are on how the “light” was taken from his world. Saul was taken from his family and taken to St. Jerome. The abuse that the students in residential schools experienced is heavily reflected in Indian Horse. St. Jerome reflects how harsh the school system was, where Indigenous children were forcefully separated from their families and often faced with a harsh and cruel environment where they would experience harsh punishments, racism, and a number of different forms of abuse. The National Centre for Truth and Reconciliation documented how this system caused long-term trauma and loss of identity for many survivors by stating residential schools were a “systematic, government- sponsored attempt to destroy Aboriginal cultures and languages and to assimilate Aboriginal peoples so that they no longer existed as distinct peoples” (Residential School History). This historic reality helps in opening one's eyes to why Saul feels that “all the light” was taken from his world, as his experience represents the harm caused by these institutions. 

Majority of the time, especially if one has grown up in that environment, an individual that has gone through abuse has a hard time of realizing that and treating it as a norm. If one believes it is a norm, the victim can go to multiple lengths to justify it. This can specifically be seen when Saul says: “Father Leboutilier was my ally” (63). By calling Father Leboutilier his “ally”. Saul convinces himself that  Father Leboutilier is a protective figure where he found comfort and peace in and being in such an abusive environment. However, that isn’t the case with Father Leboutilier being one of the people harming Saul. This shows how Saul is coping with the trauma by framing his abuser as someone who is supportive. This idea is to help him survive in such a psychologically abusive environment. Within the novel, Wagamese shows how trauma can distort a victim’s perception and force them to suppress the truth in order to stay sane. Later on, in the chapter on page 64, Saul thinks to himself: “I became a bird” (64). This happening right after calling his abuser an ally shows that Saul is truly just trying to cope. In this context of Indian Horse, a bird is represented as freedom. Wagamese uses this metaphor to show that rather than confronting his abuser, Saul would rather separate himself from the idea that he could be a victim of abuse. Within the text, Wagamese uses an unreliable narrator at certain points in the novel. By Saul stating that Father Leboutilier is his ally, with already knowing that what is happening isn’t right, this shows how Saul is suppressing those emotions and not telling the full story. His thoughts are reshaping reality which is what leads to this narration being unreliable. A study done by Laura Lambert, who is a journalist who writes for Reuters, which is a globally recognized news organization known for its factual and unbiased reporting, was published by Britannica, which is a globally known website with its work being reviewed by subject experts and professional editors states: “Stockholm syndrome, psychological response wherein a captive begins to identify closely with his or her captors, as well as with their agenda and demands” (Stockholm syndrome). This definition shows Saul’s mindset perfectly within Indian Horse. At St. Jerome’s, Saul is trapped in an abusive and powerless environment much like a captive. By describing Father Leboutilier as his “ally” and viewing him as a safe space, Saul begins to emotionally connect himself to someone who is in reality, harming him. In a broader context, victims of Stockholm syndrome often develop emotional attachments towards their captors as a survival strategy in situations where they feel powerless and dependent. This response happens when the victim's safety relies entirely on the abuser, causing them to interpret small acts of kindness as protection or even care. Over time, this coping mechanism can blur the line between harm and safety, leading victims to defend or trust the very person causing their suffering.

After going through so much abuse, a victim can end up in a depressive state. This can be seen in Saul when he was forced to stop playing hockey due to racism and abuse, and turn to alcohol to cope. Additionally, one can also end up in a state of losing one’s identity which can be seen when Saul states: “I discovered that being someone you are not is often easier than living with the person you are. I became drunk with that. Addicted. My new escape sustained me for a while…the drink had me snared. I spoke less and drank more, and I became the Indian again” (181). This quotation brings light to Saul’s addiction that he develops as another form of escape to cope with the fact he loses hockey, which was the one thing left that gave him an identity and purpose. When Saul states that “being some you are not is often easier than living with someone you are”, he admits that he can not face the trauma and pain he has within himself. Instead of confronting his past, he turns to alcohol to cope and as a way to numb the pain. The repetition of the idea of Saul being drunk and the repetition of alcohol addiction within the chapter emphasizes how deeply he has become dependent on this false identity to survive. Wagamese is seen using a metaphor within the novel, specifically when Saul states: “I became theIndian again”, Wagemese uses this because the reality of it is, Saul did not suddenly become Indigenous, instead, he is expressing how he feels based on the racism he has gone through. Saul wasn’t seen for his talents like how well he played hockey, but only seen through his race. Within Indian Horse, Wagamese uses a first-person narration style to put Saul’s struggle with identity and addiction into view. By writing in first person, Wagamese is able to show Saul’s true feelings and emotions. Throughout the novel, Wagamese is able to show Saul’s guilt, shame, and loss of control directly through Saul’s perspective. With Saul admitting he became “addicted” and “the drink had me snared”, it feels more personal and honest because it is not described by a third-person narration. Writing in a first-person narration shows how Saul’s downfall feels more impactful and emotional because of his past continuing to influence who he believes he is. A study published by the National Library of Medicine, which is an official government website, states: “Findings suggest that coping-related drinking is a strong mediator in the relation between PTSD and harmful alcohol use and that the strength of the indirect effect is meaningfully influenced by measurement approach, sample characteristics, and study design” (Luciano et al.). This study helps understand Saul’s experiences better. This quotation explains that coping by drinking reflects how harmful alcohol use can be when dealing with trauma. Meaning, people do not simply drink because they enjoy it, they drink to manage overwhelming trauma that they are carrying. Wagamese reflects this perfectly with Saul. Saul does not begin drinking casually. To suppress the emotions he has from the trauma he went through at St. Jerome’s and losing hockey, he turns to alcohol as a way to escape his memories and the fact he struggles with his identity. According to Booklook, which is a part of the British Columbia BookWorldnetwork, which is used by libraries, educators, and literary researchers to access author biographies, states that Wagamese too had struggled with alcoholism back as a teenager at the age of 16. According to the article, Wagamese once told Provincial Court Judge Stella Frame in 2011, “Alcohol could numb me to all the things that arose in me” (Richard Wagamese (1955-2017)) then proceeded to say, “When they arose, I just drank more and more” (Richard Wagamese (1955-2017)). At a young age, Richard Wagamese struggled with alcohol for many years. His experiences with substances are shaped by trauma and lack of belonging. After being separated from his family as a child and raised in a foster home where he lived in an abusive environment, he ended up leaving at the age of 16 and living on the streets where he then began to abuse drugs and alcohol. This led to him being imprisoned on several occasions. For many years, Wagamese believed that alcohol eased the pain of the trauma he had lived through.  Eventually, Wagamese worked towards healing and recovering. His personal story with alcoholism is reflected perfectly within his writing through Saul. He reflects on the abuse endured at a young age, substance abuse, loss of belonging, trying to find one’s identity, and healing all through his character Saul. 

In conclusion, it is clear that Saul’s experiences are represented through suppressed trauma, emotional blocking, and silence. Richard Wagamese uses Saul’s suppressed memories and his tendency to avoid pain to show how deep one's trauma can get and how it can disconnect a person from their identity. Richard Wagamese reflects his personal life struggling with abuse, substance abuse, and losing his identity, through his character Saul in Indian Horse. Saul is seen as struggling with racism, abuse, alcoholism, and finding his identity after being taken away from his parents and taken to a residential school called St. Jerome’s residential school. Saul is a perfect example of how victims of abuse struggle to accept the fact that they were abused and struggle to cope with it later in life. Saul was able to find his identity, however, one is still left wondering how many victims haven’t realized it.